"There's no place like home, There's no place like home, There's no place like home...."

It's interesting. Compared to my past diet experiences, I don't even feel like I need to look particularly forward to this weekend because the last couple of days have felt like paradise. I'm not fantasizing about what I can pack in to my "S" days. Having spent years worrying about every last morsel I've put in my mouth (and then countering that with binge periods where I just shoved every last morsel in without even tasting it) I feel positively euphoric. I've mentally given myself permission to not judge the food on my plate and I didn't realize how freeing and amazing that feels. Also, makes me realize how much energy and mental anguish I've spent pondering what to eat to the point that I stopped enjoying food. All of it. Guilt would take over so that even if I ate something delicious like chocolate mousse.. I didn't really have a positive experience. Guilt and shame overshadowed EVERYTHING. Only now, do I realize how much they have played a part in my everyday life. How much mental space they have taken up. How I've envied people who seemed to just eat for enjoyment and nourishment and it was a part of their daily life.. no more, no less. Maybe I can actually be one of those people!!! I know it's too early to tell but honestly.. it's like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, realizing she had the power to go back to Kansas all along. Could it really be that the power was within me the whole time?